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Title: Aesthetic Values
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: Cat Moon
Rating: M
Words: 454
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto, random aliens and mention of team
Summary: Aliens capture our favorite duo. Jack is Jack, and Ianto is brilliant as always.
Notes: The M due to some suggestiveness and Jack so don't expect too much.
Jack tugged at the chains binding him, not expecting them to budge, but one never knew, and it would be embarrassing if they turned out to be loose enough to slip out of and he hadn't tried. It didn't bother him to be naked – it wasn't the first time he'd found himself tied up starkers. It was more fun if it was consensual, though, and being held captive by visiting aliens was not his idea of a good time.
The way the long eye stalk of the head alien seemed to be ogling him, though, made him wonder if there would be a way to negotiate freedom after all. Jack gave the alien an experimental flirty smile. His ability to charm any being in the galaxy had never failed him.
Well, almost never.
"You're rather glabrous, aren't you?" the being queried as it gave Jack a once-over.
"Uh, I guess?" Jack mumbled in confusion, wondering if their universal translator was malfunctioning.
Ianto's audible snicker disabused him of that notion. "He shaves," he told them with a smirk.
The being stroked a hand (it was more like a tangle of twisted tree roots, but surprisingly soft) down the smooth chest. "Pity," it stated, turning and moving towards Ianto. "You are not glabrous," it declared, already reaching out to Ianto's chest and the dark hair covering it.
"Hey!" Jack yelled, both in indignation over the slight to his attractiveness and protectiveness towards his lover.
Apparently, these aliens, having no hair of their own anywhere, were fascinated with humans' abundance of it. Some humans, at least.
"Oh, I don't have all that much," Ianto murmured self-depreciatingly. "Not compared to… Well, never mind," he added hastily.
Jack didn't miss the calculated glint in Ianto's eyes. He tried to think of something that would keep him from getting hot and bothered but couldn't come up with anything. It was always a turn on when Ianto got like this.
"Compared to?" The Boss prompted. "You know an Earthling with more hair?"
"Three… four times as much. At least," Ianto dangled the bait.
The alien's eyestalk widened.
It really was too bad the aliens were so disagreeable. Jack would have liked to see what they could do with those stalks…
"Take us to this human!" The alien demanded.
"Who was I to argue?" Ianto told the rest of the team later that night after the aliens had been sent packing, and he was explaining how a visit to the Gorilla enclosure at the Zoo had distracted the aliens long enough to get the drop on them.
The animals were fine, the aliens were escorted off the planet, and no one was hurt except for Jack's feelings. Ianto would soothe those later.
The end
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: Cat Moon
Rating: M
Words: 454
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto, random aliens and mention of team
Summary: Aliens capture our favorite duo. Jack is Jack, and Ianto is brilliant as always.
Notes: The M due to some suggestiveness and Jack so don't expect too much.
Jack tugged at the chains binding him, not expecting them to budge, but one never knew, and it would be embarrassing if they turned out to be loose enough to slip out of and he hadn't tried. It didn't bother him to be naked – it wasn't the first time he'd found himself tied up starkers. It was more fun if it was consensual, though, and being held captive by visiting aliens was not his idea of a good time.
The way the long eye stalk of the head alien seemed to be ogling him, though, made him wonder if there would be a way to negotiate freedom after all. Jack gave the alien an experimental flirty smile. His ability to charm any being in the galaxy had never failed him.
Well, almost never.
"You're rather glabrous, aren't you?" the being queried as it gave Jack a once-over.
"Uh, I guess?" Jack mumbled in confusion, wondering if their universal translator was malfunctioning.
Ianto's audible snicker disabused him of that notion. "He shaves," he told them with a smirk.
The being stroked a hand (it was more like a tangle of twisted tree roots, but surprisingly soft) down the smooth chest. "Pity," it stated, turning and moving towards Ianto. "You are not glabrous," it declared, already reaching out to Ianto's chest and the dark hair covering it.
"Hey!" Jack yelled, both in indignation over the slight to his attractiveness and protectiveness towards his lover.
Apparently, these aliens, having no hair of their own anywhere, were fascinated with humans' abundance of it. Some humans, at least.
"Oh, I don't have all that much," Ianto murmured self-depreciatingly. "Not compared to… Well, never mind," he added hastily.
Jack didn't miss the calculated glint in Ianto's eyes. He tried to think of something that would keep him from getting hot and bothered but couldn't come up with anything. It was always a turn on when Ianto got like this.
"Compared to?" The Boss prompted. "You know an Earthling with more hair?"
"Three… four times as much. At least," Ianto dangled the bait.
The alien's eyestalk widened.
It really was too bad the aliens were so disagreeable. Jack would have liked to see what they could do with those stalks…
"Take us to this human!" The alien demanded.
"Who was I to argue?" Ianto told the rest of the team later that night after the aliens had been sent packing, and he was explaining how a visit to the Gorilla enclosure at the Zoo had distracted the aliens long enough to get the drop on them.
The animals were fine, the aliens were escorted off the planet, and no one was hurt except for Jack's feelings. Ianto would soothe those later.
The end