095: BTS: Umbrage: Gen
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vocab_drabblesTitle: Umbrage
Fandom: BTS
Rating: Gen
Length: 900
Characters: SUGA/OC, Min Holly
Notes: Private Investigator AU, Hard-boiled Detective style.
Summary: PI Min Yoongi gets a client who isn't what she seems.
Any umbrage I was going to take at having my siesta interrupted vanished when I got an eyeful of the interrupter.
I was napping in the office, of course. I hadn’t the funds to employ a secretary or even a cleaning lady. I did my own mopping and dusting all of a Sunday morning while the rest of the world was sleeping in, sleeping it off, or darkening the door of a place of worship, probably to pray for hard-scrubbing sinners like me. But the joke was on the last because cleanliness was next to godliness and this particular office could pass any white glove test you’d care to administer.
The sign on the office door said ‘Out to Lunch,” but that didn’t stop the knock or my own painful wrenching from Queen Mab’s embrace.
“Mister Min?”
“Yes, ma’am, Min Yoongi, private investigator, licensed, bonded, and at your service.”
I got to my feet and immediately wished Papa Min had graced me with a few more inches of stature so I could stand up even taller.
Because…wow. And…wow.
She had light brown hair in a riot of curls escaping from a crazy hat that probably cost a fortune but looked a bit like a drunk Arctic explorer idea of an Easter bonnet. The hair and the hat framed a face—what a face! Dark round eyes took you in right away. And there was a sweet little nose and kissable cheeks and an expression that said ‘I’m just a toy in this rough, cruel place. Won’t you, broad, strong, clever Min Yoongi, take me home and protect me from the big, bad world?’
I wanted to say, ‘Yes, at once, and damn the consequence,’ but what I ended up saying was,
“Please, have a seat. How can I help you?”
Thankfully, she was shorter than I was, and when she took the offered chair, she crossed one short but very shapely leg over the other and set a dainty purse on one knee.
“Mister Min, you came recommended by Mister Kim.”
Now there are a lot of Mister Kims in the world, and in my world in particular, so I asked her to narrow it down a bit.
“Mister Kim Namjoon.”
“Ah, yes.” I made a note to buy ol’ Monster a drink—if I ever had the spare cash to buy more than one drink, which was unlikely to happen before the Rapture.
“I’m in terrible trouble, Mister Min. And I just don’t know what to do!”
“I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Why don’t you tell me all about it? Start with your name. Then begin at the beginning and keep going right to the end.”
My words had a touch of ‘Alice in Wonderland’ but I had no idea at the time how apropos they were: this lady was about to pitch me down a rabbit hole.
---
“Yoongi, please, I’m begging! Can’t you…? Won’t you…?”
She tipped her cute little head up. Her voice quivered. Her eyes filled with tears.
A man could drown in those eyes. It would be like falling in a vat of melted chocolate. A horrible death but such a sweet way to go.
“I could but I won’t,” I said taking her hands by the wrist and gently and regretfully pulling them away.
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve got a code, darling, and it’s one I’ve got to uphold or I might as well do a swan dive into the Han. I’ve got to wake up tomorrow morning and look at myself in the mirror and not choke.”
“You’ll wake up alone.”
“That’s not the threat you think it is, doll.”
And she was a doll, had been my doll, if only for a night.
“You’ll never forget me, Min Yoongi.”
“You’re probably right.”
“And you know why I did it! I had to! There wasn’t any other choice!”
“The money, sweetheart. You forget I found the money.”
“So?”
“So. It wasn’t a crime of passion. You weren’t defending yourself. You were helping yourself to a million dollars that didn’t belong to you.”
“The money is ours, Yoongi. We can go away. Start fresh. A little cottage with a gate and a garden. I’ll meet you with your slippers when you come home from a hard day’s work.”
“It’s a swell dream, angel. But you’re a murderer.”
And, right on cue, I heard out in the corridor the stampede that could only be the City’s Finest on the way to make a headline-grabbing arrest.
“ARGH!”
---
“…and afterwards, I had to have five—five!—shots because, apparently, human bites are much dirtier than dog bites.”
My audience whined.
“But she was right about one thing: I never forgot her.” I rubbed the riot of light brown curls and felt the warmth of the small body snuggled against mine. “And when I saw you at the shelter, I knew I had to take you home. You captured my heart in an instant, just like she did. And I knew, too, that you’d be the perfect companion for my little cottage with a gate and a garden. And—who knows—you’re a smart cookie—I just might train you meet me at the door with my slippers. And that’s why when I saw you, I knew your name wasn’t Rufus like that silly collar said. Your name could be only one thing. Holly.”
Min Holly woofed.
Fandom: BTS
Rating: Gen
Length: 900
Characters: SUGA/OC, Min Holly
Notes: Private Investigator AU, Hard-boiled Detective style.
Summary: PI Min Yoongi gets a client who isn't what she seems.
Any umbrage I was going to take at having my siesta interrupted vanished when I got an eyeful of the interrupter.
I was napping in the office, of course. I hadn’t the funds to employ a secretary or even a cleaning lady. I did my own mopping and dusting all of a Sunday morning while the rest of the world was sleeping in, sleeping it off, or darkening the door of a place of worship, probably to pray for hard-scrubbing sinners like me. But the joke was on the last because cleanliness was next to godliness and this particular office could pass any white glove test you’d care to administer.
The sign on the office door said ‘Out to Lunch,” but that didn’t stop the knock or my own painful wrenching from Queen Mab’s embrace.
“Mister Min?”
“Yes, ma’am, Min Yoongi, private investigator, licensed, bonded, and at your service.”
I got to my feet and immediately wished Papa Min had graced me with a few more inches of stature so I could stand up even taller.
Because…wow. And…wow.
She had light brown hair in a riot of curls escaping from a crazy hat that probably cost a fortune but looked a bit like a drunk Arctic explorer idea of an Easter bonnet. The hair and the hat framed a face—what a face! Dark round eyes took you in right away. And there was a sweet little nose and kissable cheeks and an expression that said ‘I’m just a toy in this rough, cruel place. Won’t you, broad, strong, clever Min Yoongi, take me home and protect me from the big, bad world?’
I wanted to say, ‘Yes, at once, and damn the consequence,’ but what I ended up saying was,
“Please, have a seat. How can I help you?”
Thankfully, she was shorter than I was, and when she took the offered chair, she crossed one short but very shapely leg over the other and set a dainty purse on one knee.
“Mister Min, you came recommended by Mister Kim.”
Now there are a lot of Mister Kims in the world, and in my world in particular, so I asked her to narrow it down a bit.
“Mister Kim Namjoon.”
“Ah, yes.” I made a note to buy ol’ Monster a drink—if I ever had the spare cash to buy more than one drink, which was unlikely to happen before the Rapture.
“I’m in terrible trouble, Mister Min. And I just don’t know what to do!”
“I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Why don’t you tell me all about it? Start with your name. Then begin at the beginning and keep going right to the end.”
My words had a touch of ‘Alice in Wonderland’ but I had no idea at the time how apropos they were: this lady was about to pitch me down a rabbit hole.
---
“Yoongi, please, I’m begging! Can’t you…? Won’t you…?”
She tipped her cute little head up. Her voice quivered. Her eyes filled with tears.
A man could drown in those eyes. It would be like falling in a vat of melted chocolate. A horrible death but such a sweet way to go.
“I could but I won’t,” I said taking her hands by the wrist and gently and regretfully pulling them away.
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve got a code, darling, and it’s one I’ve got to uphold or I might as well do a swan dive into the Han. I’ve got to wake up tomorrow morning and look at myself in the mirror and not choke.”
“You’ll wake up alone.”
“That’s not the threat you think it is, doll.”
And she was a doll, had been my doll, if only for a night.
“You’ll never forget me, Min Yoongi.”
“You’re probably right.”
“And you know why I did it! I had to! There wasn’t any other choice!”
“The money, sweetheart. You forget I found the money.”
“So?”
“So. It wasn’t a crime of passion. You weren’t defending yourself. You were helping yourself to a million dollars that didn’t belong to you.”
“The money is ours, Yoongi. We can go away. Start fresh. A little cottage with a gate and a garden. I’ll meet you with your slippers when you come home from a hard day’s work.”
“It’s a swell dream, angel. But you’re a murderer.”
And, right on cue, I heard out in the corridor the stampede that could only be the City’s Finest on the way to make a headline-grabbing arrest.
“ARGH!”
---
“…and afterwards, I had to have five—five!—shots because, apparently, human bites are much dirtier than dog bites.”
My audience whined.
“But she was right about one thing: I never forgot her.” I rubbed the riot of light brown curls and felt the warmth of the small body snuggled against mine. “And when I saw you at the shelter, I knew I had to take you home. You captured my heart in an instant, just like she did. And I knew, too, that you’d be the perfect companion for my little cottage with a gate and a garden. And—who knows—you’re a smart cookie—I just might train you meet me at the door with my slippers. And that’s why when I saw you, I knew your name wasn’t Rufus like that silly collar said. Your name could be only one thing. Holly.”
Min Holly woofed.
