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vocab_drabbles2023-09-19 03:05 pm
but_can_i_be_trusted) wrote in vocab_drabbles2023-09-19 03:05 pm
Entry tags:
[Challenge #67: Circumspect] Friends: 'DJ Phunky Pheebs'
Title: 'DJ Phunky Pheebs'
Fandom: Friends
Author:but_can_i_be_trusted
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,000 (heavily cut down from well over 1,500)
Characters/Pairings: Phoebe Buffay, Ross Geller, Gunther
Warnings: None
Notes: Crossposted in elongated form towhatif_au
Summary: A deep yawn was the first thing to strike her eardrums.
On the stroke of midnight, the neon On The Air sign began to flash. At that instant, Phoebe cued up an audio clip. The chorus of Golden Earring's 'Twilight Zone' blared over the airwaves.
As the chorus transitioned into the bridge, Phoebe turned the volume down, switching on her microphone.
"Hey, listeners," she chirped. "This is DJ Phunky Pheebs, bringing you all the midnight mysteries! We're going on an adventure, delving into conspiracy theories, folklore, and paranormal tales. And don't forget to call in at one o'clock; that's when this station showcases your own experiences with the weird! First, here are a few tunes to get you in the mood."
Snapping her mic off, Phoebe spun a few hits. As the music played, she thumbed through her notebook, going over her plans for the morning's fare.
" I covered this two weeks ago," she grumbled, crumpling up a paper outlining the disappearance of Frederick Valentich. "Oh, no," she sighed. "This is my old notebook. Where'd I put the new one...?"
As Phoebe rummaged around, Gunther, her radio manager, knocked on the door of her booth. He let himself in, coffee in hand.
"I thought you might need this," he told her, handing over the coffee. "It's shaping up to be a long night."
"Thanks, Gunther," she said, taking a sip. "Found you," she announced, pulling out the notebook with her plans for the current broadcast. "So, is there a problem?"
"He's on the other line."
"Who?" Phoebe noticed the expression on Gunther's face. "Captain Killjoy. He's always trying to rain on my parade." Gunther's assessment was suddenly looking right on the money.
"Doctor Geller's an accredited professor. You may not care for his tendency to debunk paranormal claims, but the man knows what he's doing. He'd like to go on the air, to address some of the phenomena you've covered."
She massaged one of her temples. "Crap. Is there any chance that he's hung up?"
Gunther glanced toward his desk, spotting the light flashing on his phone. "I'm afraid not. I don't think Doctor Geller's going to simply give up. Not as long as you're a thorn in his side. He has as much of a right to be heard as any of the rest of your callers."
"A thorn in his side," Phoebe muttered. "What about my side? I suppose you have a point, though. Okay, Gunther; patch the bum through."
Phoebe let the music play for a bit longer. While she didn't want to disrupt the block, she had other motives. First, it let her nemesis stew in his own juices for a bit. Secondly, it gave her a chance to collect her thoughts.
"Okay, listeners," she announced, once the last notes of music had faded out. "I'm afraid we're going to have a slight change in our usual routine. Our first caller is going to be scholar and paranormal debunker Doctor Ross Geller. Hello, Doctor Geller; you're on the air with DJ Phunky Pheebs! Welcome to the program."
A deep yawn was the first thing to strike her eardrums. "Excuse me. I'm not usually up this late."
"That's alright, Doctor; we can't all be night owls."
"You can call me Ross," he suggested.
Phoebe chuckled. "Okay; in that case, call me Pheebs. And I'm glad you're with us. I believe firmly in keeping an open mind, even when it comes to skepticism. So, what brings you to us?"
Ross yawned again. "Heh; sorry. Believe it or not, I did not call in, just to yawn in your listeners' ears. I called in response to a program you did three weeks ago, regarding the Spooklight out in Missouri."
"I remember that one." Phoebe flipped through her older notebook. "What about it?"
"The Spooklight was officially debunked in January of 1936, and proven to be nothing but car headlights being viewed at a distance."
She felt her stomach plummet. "January of 1936...?"
"And several times since," Ross confirmed. "You can look it up."
"I'll take your word for it," Phoebe sighed. "That's my bubble burst."
"Sorry. But it's my job to debunk things like this. Not that the world isn't mysterious," Ross was quick to add. "Everything's true, until it's proven untrue." He let out a nervous laugh. "I suppose your listeners hate me."
"I don't care," she replied. "Nobody's being forced to listen. I learned something. So, what do you want to debunk next? Crystal healing?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."
Gunther picked up. "Doctor Geller? You might be the one with the facts and opinions, but we're the ones who'll be getting the angry letters."
"Well, okay. I need to call it a night, anyway."
Quickly, Phoebe cut in. "I have an idea. Why don't you come in, as a guest? We can have an entire show debating various phenomena. We can do it next month, as a Halloween special!"
A lengthy silence filled the air.
"You still there, Ross," she asked.
"I'm here," he confirmed. "Just thinking."
"Didn't I hear that you've got a new book coming out then," she prodded. "Send me an advance copy, and we'll discuss some of the contents during the broadcast."
"I'll send you a copy first thing in the morning. Just don't bash it too violently. This is a book, okay? It's not a piñata."
"I'll leave my piñata-whacking stick at home," Phoebe promised. "Is it a deal?"
"I'll have to give that some thought." Though sleepy, he did sound intrigued. "When I'm feeling alert enough. It pays to be circumspect."
Phoebe smiled. She was looking forward to the broadcast, already. "Fair enough. Go to bed, now. Sorry I kept you up so late."
"That's okay. It was interesting."
"Same, here. Sweet dreams, and thanks for joining us. Okay, listeners," Phoebe said, hearing the line disconnect. "I hope you enjoyed our unexpected company. Let's get back on track. Here are a few songs to get you back in the mood. When I come back, I'll be talking about the Chupacabra."
Fandom: Friends
Author:
but_can_i_be_trustedRating: G
Word Count: 1,000 (heavily cut down from well over 1,500)
Characters/Pairings: Phoebe Buffay, Ross Geller, Gunther
Warnings: None
Notes: Crossposted in elongated form to
whatif_auSummary: A deep yawn was the first thing to strike her eardrums.
On the stroke of midnight, the neon On The Air sign began to flash. At that instant, Phoebe cued up an audio clip. The chorus of Golden Earring's 'Twilight Zone' blared over the airwaves.
As the chorus transitioned into the bridge, Phoebe turned the volume down, switching on her microphone.
"Hey, listeners," she chirped. "This is DJ Phunky Pheebs, bringing you all the midnight mysteries! We're going on an adventure, delving into conspiracy theories, folklore, and paranormal tales. And don't forget to call in at one o'clock; that's when this station showcases your own experiences with the weird! First, here are a few tunes to get you in the mood."
Snapping her mic off, Phoebe spun a few hits. As the music played, she thumbed through her notebook, going over her plans for the morning's fare.
" I covered this two weeks ago," she grumbled, crumpling up a paper outlining the disappearance of Frederick Valentich. "Oh, no," she sighed. "This is my old notebook. Where'd I put the new one...?"
As Phoebe rummaged around, Gunther, her radio manager, knocked on the door of her booth. He let himself in, coffee in hand.
"I thought you might need this," he told her, handing over the coffee. "It's shaping up to be a long night."
"Thanks, Gunther," she said, taking a sip. "Found you," she announced, pulling out the notebook with her plans for the current broadcast. "So, is there a problem?"
"He's on the other line."
"Who?" Phoebe noticed the expression on Gunther's face. "Captain Killjoy. He's always trying to rain on my parade." Gunther's assessment was suddenly looking right on the money.
"Doctor Geller's an accredited professor. You may not care for his tendency to debunk paranormal claims, but the man knows what he's doing. He'd like to go on the air, to address some of the phenomena you've covered."
She massaged one of her temples. "Crap. Is there any chance that he's hung up?"
Gunther glanced toward his desk, spotting the light flashing on his phone. "I'm afraid not. I don't think Doctor Geller's going to simply give up. Not as long as you're a thorn in his side. He has as much of a right to be heard as any of the rest of your callers."
"A thorn in his side," Phoebe muttered. "What about my side? I suppose you have a point, though. Okay, Gunther; patch the bum through."
Phoebe let the music play for a bit longer. While she didn't want to disrupt the block, she had other motives. First, it let her nemesis stew in his own juices for a bit. Secondly, it gave her a chance to collect her thoughts.
"Okay, listeners," she announced, once the last notes of music had faded out. "I'm afraid we're going to have a slight change in our usual routine. Our first caller is going to be scholar and paranormal debunker Doctor Ross Geller. Hello, Doctor Geller; you're on the air with DJ Phunky Pheebs! Welcome to the program."
A deep yawn was the first thing to strike her eardrums. "Excuse me. I'm not usually up this late."
"That's alright, Doctor; we can't all be night owls."
"You can call me Ross," he suggested.
Phoebe chuckled. "Okay; in that case, call me Pheebs. And I'm glad you're with us. I believe firmly in keeping an open mind, even when it comes to skepticism. So, what brings you to us?"
Ross yawned again. "Heh; sorry. Believe it or not, I did not call in, just to yawn in your listeners' ears. I called in response to a program you did three weeks ago, regarding the Spooklight out in Missouri."
"I remember that one." Phoebe flipped through her older notebook. "What about it?"
"The Spooklight was officially debunked in January of 1936, and proven to be nothing but car headlights being viewed at a distance."
She felt her stomach plummet. "January of 1936...?"
"And several times since," Ross confirmed. "You can look it up."
"I'll take your word for it," Phoebe sighed. "That's my bubble burst."
"Sorry. But it's my job to debunk things like this. Not that the world isn't mysterious," Ross was quick to add. "Everything's true, until it's proven untrue." He let out a nervous laugh. "I suppose your listeners hate me."
"I don't care," she replied. "Nobody's being forced to listen. I learned something. So, what do you want to debunk next? Crystal healing?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."
Gunther picked up. "Doctor Geller? You might be the one with the facts and opinions, but we're the ones who'll be getting the angry letters."
"Well, okay. I need to call it a night, anyway."
Quickly, Phoebe cut in. "I have an idea. Why don't you come in, as a guest? We can have an entire show debating various phenomena. We can do it next month, as a Halloween special!"
A lengthy silence filled the air.
"You still there, Ross," she asked.
"I'm here," he confirmed. "Just thinking."
"Didn't I hear that you've got a new book coming out then," she prodded. "Send me an advance copy, and we'll discuss some of the contents during the broadcast."
"I'll send you a copy first thing in the morning. Just don't bash it too violently. This is a book, okay? It's not a piñata."
"I'll leave my piñata-whacking stick at home," Phoebe promised. "Is it a deal?"
"I'll have to give that some thought." Though sleepy, he did sound intrigued. "When I'm feeling alert enough. It pays to be circumspect."
Phoebe smiled. She was looking forward to the broadcast, already. "Fair enough. Go to bed, now. Sorry I kept you up so late."
"That's okay. It was interesting."
"Same, here. Sweet dreams, and thanks for joining us. Okay, listeners," Phoebe said, hearing the line disconnect. "I hope you enjoyed our unexpected company. Let's get back on track. Here are a few songs to get you back in the mood. When I come back, I'll be talking about the Chupacabra."